Bread Cast Upon the Water

My hope when I started this journey, or at least one of them, was that instead of turning to alcohol when I am stressed or tired or angry or joyful I would turn to God.  Unless God is a bowl of pasta or a plate of cookies, I have missed the mark on that.

It's only getting worse. I believed that when I quit my nightly glasses of wine I would feel better but I actually feel worse. It's not in a detox kind of way, or at least I don't think so.  I think that I have a gluten intolerance and that I feel worse because I have been eating more processed carbs.  The simple solution is to stop eating them but I am really resisting.

Part of my issue is that I'm being a baby. I have given up alcohol.  Why isn't that enough?  Why do I have to do more?  I eat carbs because I like the way they taste, and I like the burst of serotonin they give me. I know there are other things that are tasty.  I know that there are other ways of getting serotonin. I know.

I know.

Sigh.

It doesn't make sense that I do things that are detrimental to my health yet I don't want to make this commitment. Giving up alcohol seems like a breeze compared to giving up processed carbs.  I actually feel sad about it.  I haven't done it yet and I'm already grieving the loss of bread and pasta and my daughter's fresh baked cookies.

Do I need to commit to giving up all processed carbs in order to feel better?  I guess I am going to find out.

I am going to give up bread and pasta and Chocolate Krinkles for a month.

I'd wonder what would be like, but I already know it is going to be a struggle.



Okay, here I go. I'll commit to one month of no processed carbs - no bread, no pasta, no Chocolate Krinkles.

I'd wonder what that will be like, but I already know this is going to be difficult.