I asked my husband the other night if this YONA had been hard for him. He said not really but I couldn't leave it there. I asked if he thought our relationship had been strained this year because we weren't going on as many dates, or hanging out at wineries, or going to a bar occasionally to unwind after a long week.
He responded by listing all of the things that have been adding stress to our relationship this year. He then said that none of them are going to go away when I start drinking, and he asked me if I really thought that me drinking again was going to "fix" anything.
Well, no. Not exactly. Okay, maybe I did kind of think that.
I've been focused on the alcohol related things that we haven't done this year. I've been thinking that once we can "hang out" again, once we can share a bottle of wine or a drink or two that we will connect again. That's kinda sad, that I think the only thing or maybe just the main thing that is connecting us is alcohol.
The fact is that we haven't spent much together this year because he has been working long and different hours getting a new business off the ground. We haven't worked out together because I've been dealing with foot and hip problems. We haven't gone on vacation or short getaways because we've used our time off to go see my dad who lives about three hours away. We haven't done much of anything at all because money is really tight.
Me not drinking has been the least of our problems.
I am glad I haven't been drinking this year because it might have become the worst of our problems. I am glad to know that I can survive really tough times without turning to wine. I am definitely going to take that knowledge into this next year, which holds no promises of easier work schedules or better health or vacations or more money.
