Spreading the Word

Surely soon I will run out of psuedo Biblical titles for my posts.  It would be a lot of pressure on myself to keep this up for any length of time.

I have started telling people of my YONA (Year of No Alcohol).  One sibling mentioned that I am at the age when our mother possibly began drinking too often.  He said that while it is too strong a word to call it an intervention, he remembers that our father and some of their friends had a sit down talk with her about her drinking.  Both of her parents were alcoholics, so it seem reasonable to assume that she ... You know what?  I can't finish that sentence.  More and more these days I find myself questioning what it is reasonable to assume about my mother at all.  Although I was 31 when she died I didn't really know her as an adult.  The list of the things I would ask her now is a mile long and growing.  I don't know how she felt or what she thought about her parents or drinking or any of that.

Another sibling, hearing of the first sibling's observation of age similarity, suggested that it is more a stage of life similarity.  When our mother was our age she and our father moved away from all of us children.  She was facing an empty nest and wondering what next.  Although my nest is currently not empty, I am reaching the end stages of my career and the likelihood that the nest will soon empty.  Possibilities abound, but I must admit that I sense that time is growing short to live the rest of the life I want to live.  I often think of a quote that goes something like this: At the end of the day the Universe asked "Is that all that you wanted?".  No! I want to shout.  I want more.  Did she want that too but not know what to do or how to go about it? Did she, instead, just drink?

A friend, not tying this to my mother at all, suggested that having this be a project for a year is a way to make it less threatening to those around me.  There is definitely something to that. 

Another friend simply replied "Excellent!"

When I told my daughter she immediately asked me "What do you need from me?"  I love that girl.

My husband is concerned that I'm doing this because I think drinking alcohol is a bad thing and I am a bad person for doing it.  Not too many years ago he wouldn't have been far from the truth, but I'm not that person any more.  Alcohol is fine.  Me drinking alcohol is fine.  I just want to see what it's like not to do it for a year.  He is behind me 100%, as he has been for every single thing I've ever gotten it into my head to do.  Well, there was that one chiropractor he hated, but that's another story.

From here on out it will be less a conversation to be had and more just a gradual "oh by the way" sort of thing when out with friends and family.