And on the Seventh Day ...

A couple of times over the past week I've thought about various situations I am going to encounter in the next year.  When I've found myself doing that I've gotten discouraged, thinking there is no way I am going to have enough self control not to drink.

The coming weeks with the holidays seem challenging.  No wine at the holiday party tonight?  No champagne toast on New Year's Eve?  How do people do that?  How do they celebrate without raising a glass with everyone else?

Then for a moment I get sad.  I'm sad that I "won't" be able to participate.  I'm sad that I don't get to have a drink.  Everyone around me will be drinking and having a good time, and I'll be doing what exactly?  The obvious answer is "having a good time without drinking" and I hope obvious = true.  We'll see.

The interesting thing to me is that these thoughts and feelings have come and gone in no time.  It is entirely too much to think about the next 51 weeks stretching out in front of me. The old adage about taking one day at a time suits me just fine. I don't have to resist an icy cold beer on a hot summer day just yet, do I?  When I get there, I'll be there, and the same power that has kept me from drinking for the past seven days will be there with me, possibly stronger, perhaps, I don't know, maybe a little weaker that day, but it will be there nonetheless. 

I think in the past I have gotten waylay-ed by the thought that I can't possibly keep this up for any length of time.  If it's not tonight's wine it will be tomorrow's promise of a Manhattan, so let's open the bottle and be done with it.  I think that temptations in the past have been easy to succumb to because I have let myself down so many times that I no longer trust myself.

What is different about this time is that I still don't trust myself but I do trust God.  Wow, it is still really difficult to write things like that even though that is what I am doing.  I can't do this on my own.  I have proven that. It helps too that I have committed to just a year of no alcohol.  There are a lot of things I can put up with if I have a predetermined end in sight.  I've gotten through many a set of burpees that way, not to mention a half-marathon or two.  Just tell me where or when the finish line is and get out of my way.

This time I hope to stay out of my own way as well.

One week down, fifty-one to go.