Diving Into the Water

I am planning on starting my Year of No Alcohol (hereafter known as YONA) after a pre-midnight glass of champagne on December 31st.  You may ask why not now?  Why isn't December 6, 2013 the start of a year without alcohol?

The first answer that comes to mind is because it is the holiday season.  There are parties for hosting and marshmallows for toasting ... and drinking to be done.  I understand how pathetic that sounds.  This time next year, as I'm approaching the end of my YONA I will have had a year of practice and will be better able to face the stigma of not drinking.

It's a funny thing, the subconscious thoughts that arise as I am contemplating how this is going to be.  Do I really have the idea that there is a social stigma attached to not drinking?  Is it really something I have to face?

Part of the reason I am waiting is because I am afraid I can't do this.  If I name a date and sneak up on it then I can prepare myself to fight the fight.  That also is ridiculous considering I have been preparing for this since August. 

This leads me into negotiations with myself.  First I'll get these social gatherings out of the way, and while I'm doing that I will do some research into resources that can help me with the cravings and the struggles. I can't start now if I'm not ready.

This sounds familiar.  Let me tell you about the time God talked to me in my hot tub.

I have never trusted God.  I was in our hot tub, contemplating baptism, and had made up this whole list of things I had to do first.  I was going to study the Bible and read his word.  I was going to figure out this whole repentance thing, how to turn away from sin and towards God.  Then, maybe then, I would be ready to get baptized.  Out of no where a voice in my head said "Are you going to trust me or are you going to wait for me to convince you to trust me?"  Over and over, "are you going to trust me?"  Note, it was not me asking "Am I going to trust God?"

As I am sitting her now typing this out I am getting the same sense of resistance on my part to just jump in to the YONA, even as I know that is exactly what God is calling me to do.  I keep turning away, and he keeps gently leading my face back towards him.

I will never be ready to do this.  I will start today.

Let the YONA begin.