Poured Into

It's 1:15 a.m. The house is quiet. My mind, not so much.

I felt my Mother's presence today. Although gone for nineteen years she undeniably came here for me today.

Life has been tough lately. I may have mentioned that. The demands on my energy are many, and although I do things for me they sometimes become just one more thing to check off of the daily to do list. Truly I am trying so hard to stop trying so hard but ...

But.

Yes, but.

I needed to be poured into. As I felt her love pour into me, I laid my head down on the table where I was sitting and I wept. Just as I received the incredible gift from a couple weeks ago I allowed myself to receive the gift of her love pouring into me. 

It was a powerful thing, and I am glad I didn't turn away or shoo away her memory when I first realized she was there. I've put up some walls where she is concerned, been angry at her more often than not, but she came anyway. She filled up the spaces around me, and then she touched my head and told me everything would be okay. 

I've done that for my child. It's what mothers do. It's what parents do.

And if I let him,I bet it's what God wants to do too.