Three Weeks Later

That first glass of red wine was amazing. I almost couldn't drink it, couldn't get it past my lips because I had denied myself for so long.

But when I did take that first sip, oh my. I truly enjoyed it. I savored the experience, sitting with my daughter and husband, the Christmas tree all lit up, the room warm and cozy. I tried to put into words what this year has been like or what it meant, but really mostly I just sat there and said "Wow". 

I can't believe I did it. 

Since then, the experience of drinking has been uneventful. It has also been mildly not-as-enjoyable as I would have thought. 

The first Manhattan?  Just okay.

The first gin martini? Eh. 

After all this time I thought that they would be extra good. Could my memory of what alcohol tastes like be that unreliable? Or did my tastes change during the YONA?

In an effort to find the taste that I remember I almost slipped right back into nightly drinking, as if my year long abstinence was a dream that I awoke from, shook off, and quickly forgot.

But I'm saying no to that. It's not what I want.

I've decided that alcohol is now just a drink of choice on occasion. I want those occasions to be more like that delicious first sip of red wine on December 6th, and not at all like the every night glasses of nondescript wine that happened the year before the YONA. The rules that I wrote about before won't be needed because I trust myself to make the right choices.

I'm glad I had a Year of No Alcohol. 

I am also glad that it's over.